(--;)

I close my eyes and breathe deeply
The scent of the coming rain is infused with memories of you and me
Evoking thoughts and feelings that are buried deep within

My body awakens
My senses heighten
All these because of you

Memories...

bodies entwined..
breaths mingling,
sliding,
gripping,
moving in rhythm..

I shake my head and open my eyes
The scent of rain, stronger.
A deep sadness envelops me
A hollow feelings settles in my stomach.

Never again will I hold you in my arms.
Never again will we become one.

My throat tightens
Eyes turn misty..
Once more i breathe in the sultry air
Lettting our memories wash over me.

I stay as the rain starts to fall
to let the chill replace the hollowness that i feel..
to cover the tears that fall from my eyes.

Slowly the sky starts to lighten,
as dusk settles in
the rain stops.

I slowly walk back
each step bringing me closer
..to letting go..

oOo

whew.. that poem is a heavy breather.. *snicker*

iba talaga pag inspired *teehee*

im happy and im sad at the same time.

happy because i just am. sad because once again... im confused.

before that, here's a brief rundown of my day...

930am: i arrived home, took a bath and slept

1100am: my mum arrives with the carpenters. the carpenters were there to estimate the cost of the renovation of my apartment, coz im having the electrical system rewired and have my entire apartment re-painted to black and purple.. my walls are sky blue right now and im getting sick of it.

my mum also took my passport today. she told me that she is going to the US Embassy tomorrow to verify if my Visa was still valid. even if i havent visited there in three years. i currently have a 10 year multiple entry Visa. im praying that they would say that it was invalid coz i dont want to leave. i have this strange feeling in my stomach (no, i dont need antacids) that when i get there my mum is going to force me to find a job there.

one of the reasons why i dont want to stay there is because my grandmum lives in Geriatric County... Huntington Beach is VERY beautiful, but the thing is, one time... 2001 i think, i vacationed there for 3 months, i got homesick so bad. the people there were strange. though the food wasnt bad... *snicker* also the community that my grandmum lives in is like the one in Florida. puro matatanda ang andun..

at 12nn i awoke to the sounds of somebody hammering. i open my eyes to see one of the carpenters removing the a/c unit that i wasnt using anymore. so now there's this gaping hole on the wall... *argghh*

300pm my soro sis' and Theta brothers drop by and visit.. they kept on harping on how cool their classes were gonna be coz the third year profs were the ones that we were aiming for the past two years. being the dork that iam nainggit ako so what i did was i took a bath and went to school to enroll.. i took 9 units. one is crim law and the other subject is tax1.. *waaaahh* tax 1.. bubu pa naman ako dun.

700pm: i arrived at starbucks to have my muni-muni moments. but i couldnt coz my muse was tapping me on the shoulder again. so there... i had that output. what little time i had left to ponder about the things that were going in my life this is what i came up with:

my bes told me that i should make my decision based on what is going to make me happy, not on how happy iam going to make others be. but this is weird, i am happy when others are happy. so what do i do now?

also, im having a sense of abandonment. i dont know why though... *kainis* im trying to figure out why am feeling this way... *argh*


*sigh*

am lost again... HAHAHAHAH... i really need a roadmap to my life. im such a dork.

(--;)