silent screams

I can never understand how one homo sapien can kill its own kind. I dare not call a murderer as a human being.

Today i found out that a dear friend of mine was murdered. Cause of death: multiple stab wounds to the neck and head. Not only does the perpetrator have no respect for the human condition, this entity even had the balls to wrap my friend's face in plastic and stuff him in the trunk of his own car.

When this information was relayed to me, only one thought had gone through my mind... I hope Teej didnt feel anything beyond that first slash of the knife to the neck.

Tiny shudders of pain were racing up and down my body as i fought to keep my emotions buried. I still had a class to facilitate and breaking down was unacceptable. My body was going through the motions of teaching but my heart was screaming at me. I guess no words can define how painful my heart was constricting. I can only imagine the fear that Teej might have gone through during that time. I can only assume that this travesty occurred while i was soundly and dreamlessly sleeping safely in my bed.

I have yet to understand the depth of the loss my "cousin" Teej has brought to my life. All i know right now is that I wont see his smiling face in the office anymore. His amazing singing will now be silenced forever. His absolutely corny jokes that made you laugh because they were so corny will now be relegated to phone memories as text messages, never to be delivered in his oddly funny speaking voice.

Right now, i mourn the loss of my cousin Teej. I am angered at the being that committed this brutal act upon this trusting, happy and content soul. I will not throw any ill will your way because i know that one day, you will get what you deserve.

All i ask now is a favor from all my friends... Please help me pray for Teej's soul. for peace and acceptance for the friends and family who had been left to celebrate his life. For the police to be wise and swift in finding the heinous being that have committed this act. For the justice system to mete out the appropriate punishment. Last but not the least, strength for all friends and family to overcome this obstacle.

I will miss you so much Cousin. Sobra. *sob*

the dark man cometh

On a dark cherry wood desk lay an ashtray with a smoldering cigarette. The fragrant tobacco smoke was tinged with a slight bitterness. He was immersed deep in his thoughts, his eyes cast unseeing towards the twinkling city lights beneath him. A tiny spark of light lit his eyes has his ears heard the whisper soft strains of Yiruma's song Love Me wafted through the air; the spark died as quickly as it came.


His thoughts turned back to her. They havent talked nor seen each other for 8 months now. He stood from his desk and walked to the floor to ceiling window that graced his office. He lay his hand against the glass pane that separated him from a 50 storey plunge. The cool glass reminded him that he still had warmth in him.; that he was still remotely human. Minutes passed unknowingly, as he stood there gazing down at the city that was filled with a vast sea of faces that made him feel his loneliness further.


As he walked back to his desk he saw something glitter in the dark corner underneath his desk. He stooped down to pick it up and saw that it was the letter opener that she gave to him from their last trip to Singapore. The blade on the letter opener was sharp enough to leave a shallow slice on his forefinger when he ran his finger lightly on its cutting edge. His right hand gripped the handle as he turned his left arm over...


.-=*v*=-.


She was sitting on the shore, watching the sunset on another day. Her bright brown eyes drank in the slow transition from a Rembrandt sky to the bold colors of sunset. The cool ocean breeze made a rat's nest of her long hair; but she didnt mind. She rarely had the pleasure of taking in peace for herself. In her life, it was always about work, her family, and as of late, her friends. She was their towerblock. It wasnt that she minded being someone people leaned on, but lately, it had been more of a task borne out of obligation, instead of pleasure brought by love.


The sand between her toes reminded her of him.


Of the odd conversations that they had which made sense only to them.


"If you were a super hero, and you had to choose between the ability to fly but can only be two feet off the ground OR the ability to become invisible, but when youre invisible youre going to be blind as a bat, what would you choose?"


"If Hitler didnt have his moustache, would he be less popular?"


"If you only had three pieces of hair on your head, would they be clumped together? or in three separate places?"


"Who do you think is more of a sidekick amterial, Aquaman or Robin?"


The snippets of these past conversations ran through her mind, briging a ghost of a smile to her eyes.


Then her mobile phone rang.


She reached out to the pouch beside her and answered the call. Seconds after she aswered her mobile phone, all the color from her face was drained; her hand shook as she ended the call, she stood up from the blanket and ran to her car.


'-=. . .=-'


He's dead.


Those two words kept echoing in her head as she hurtled down the highway, uncaring if the speed limit was 60. She drove as if Hell's very own hounds were chasing her. She needed to see for herself that he was really gone.


When she reached the hospital parking lot, she parked haphazardly near the ER entrance and ran to the nearest nursing station. As she ran through the cool halls of the hospital, the antiseptic smell reminded her that this is where people lived and died. She reached the waiting room and saw all their friends; their faces reflecting varying states of shock and grief. She felt as if time suddenly became as molasses being sucked up a soda straw. Each step that she took felt like eternity.


She sat beside one of their friends and buried her face in her hands. How many minutes passed, she didnt know, but when she felt a warm weight settle gently on her shoulder, she raised her head and saw him. Her knees trembled like the last leaves on an autumn tree, as she stood up.


.-=***=-.


He saw various emotions flash through her eyes when she saw him. The same emotions that ran through her when they last spoke. A fine trembling was running through his body as they stood there and hugged each other.


"I can believe Charles is gone" she whispered.


"His mom says he died in his sleep. Days after we last spoke, his mom called me up and told me that the hospital was sending him home because his cancer was already terminal and they couldnt do anything about it anymore." he said as he laid his forehead gently on her forehead.


"Why didnt you tell me?" she asked.


"Im sorry, but it wasnt for me to say. His mom didnt want anyone to know, but she told me because i was his bestfriend. I also didnt think that you would talk to me after what happened to us 8 months ago." He then sat down on one of the couches in the waiting room. His arms around her, her arms around his; sharing the burden of grief that have been given to them.

Val's Birthday

As the cool night wind blew softly, he stood on his hotel room terrace, his eyes unseeing as they were cast towards the city lights that winked liked stars below him. It had been months since he last saw her. Its funny that he remembered her on a Friday the 13th. A day that superstitious lots feared and anticipated yet ironically a day before the world fell under the commercialism of love.

A ghost of a smile touched his lips as he thought of her. He could see the sneer on her face the last time that they spent February 14 together. He gave her flowers and she gave him that look that made a lesser man cringe but amused him.

"What am i supposed to do with this monstrosity?" she asks as he gives her a pailful of yellow roses.

"I think you're supposed to smush your face in the bouquet and then give me the dewy eyed look that girls usually do when they receive flowers." he answers while he opens the door to the front passenger of her car.

"And when i smush my face in the bouquet, am i supposed to eat the flowers?" she asks a little scathingly.

"We'll you eat the weirdest things, so i dont suppose eating flowers would be any different" he says as he slowly exited the parking lot.

In answer to his statement, she snorted inelegantly at him.

He couldnt help but laugh. "Why cant you just say thank you?" he laughingly asks.

"Why should i? I didnt ask you to buy me flowers. You do this every year and it just always ends up in Val's house." she answered.

"Well, its like hitting two birds with one stone. I irritate you and since you dump those flowers annually to Val, then it also acts as a birthday gift for Val. Its one of the few things i live for. hahahahaha"

His reverie was broken when he heard his mobile phone ringing. He headed back to his room to get his phone.

.-=***=-...-=***=-.

She opened her eyes after wishing on the first night's star. Her whiskey colored eyes held a tinge of sadness. She lit a cigarette to give her hands something to do as she dispelled the thoughts in her head.

It had been months since she last saw him. Until now, she could feel that jab to the solar plexus, just thinking about him; about him telling her that he loved her more than she could give. A part of her died when he told her that he wanted them to be together. She knew that she loved him, but not in the way that he wanted it to be. She knew that she wasnt the best person to be his life partner. She took a drag from her cigarette as she remembered one of her conversations with Amie.

" Just like what i read in a book...'First guy to walk out of my life, definetly not the last. Funny things, you and me. You always stayin' away from love, me always chasin' after it.' Same deal with us girl-o. You're just a plain coward. You say you're smart, but i say youre not. Letting go of a guy who would go over the moon for you. I call it as i see it. You're a freaking coward..."

She walked away from Amie even before she had the time to finish her statement. Each word that came out of Amie's mouth was like a dart.

This was going to be the first time in 12 years that she would be going to Val's birthday without him. She took another deep drag from her cigarette and then walked determinedly to Val's house to face his family and their friends for the first time without Japeth by her side.