Saturday, September 13, 2008

a Conversation with The Dreamer

He was in a 24 hour coffee shop in Makati waiting for her to get out of the office. As he waits for her, he lights up a cigarette, takes a deep drag and let the nicotine flow through his system to calm him down. He exhales deeply and grabs his mobile phone to text her.

Two hours passed and he was still alone in the coffee shop. Anger simmering beneath his calm exterior. He was controlling his anger because he knew that once she sinks her teeth into a project, she never lets go until its finished. He grabs his bag from the chair beside him and paws through the bag looking for his PSP. He takes it out and plugs the headset, passing the time through music.

He didnt notice how much time had passed; then he saw a shadow fall across his table.He looks up and sees her huge dimpled grin. As she was about to sit he stands up abruptly from his chair, grabs his bag and walks to his car.

He heard he run after him and when they both reached his car, he gently places his bag on the hood and looks at her.

"What is wrong with you?!" she whispers furiously at him.
Her faced reflecting amazement and anger. He knew she hated public confrontations, thus the whispered statement.

He just looks at her and again lights a cigarette. He felt her eyes throwing icy daggers at him and he knew that if looks could kill he would have been dead on the spot, but he was amazed when she spoke again, it was in an even tone.

"I dont know whats going on with you. Im tired and if youre going to sulk, I'll just take a cab home." Then she started to walk away.

He took two quick steps and firmly grabbed her forearm and told her to get in the car. Again, he was surprised when she acquiesced. She must be really tired, he thought.

When they were both in the car, he just sat there and gripped the steering wheel hard enough to make his knuckles stand out white. He looked over at her and saw that her eyes were already closed.

"How many hours have you been at the office?" he asks her.

Her eyes open and blearily focused on him.

"Been there for like 15 hrs" she says sleepily.

"Why do you do that," he asks.

"Stay at the office ng matagal?"

"Yeah"

"Coz I have a lot of other things to do. Saka naghahanap ako ng cute." she answers fliply, then yawns again; hugely.

He then pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"You really dont get it" he says softly. He looks over and saw that her eyes were closed and was breathing deeply. He leans over and touches his head to the steering wheel, closes his eyes and whispers.

"I have loved you since we were kids. I started loving you when you outscreamed that bully Michelle." he laughs softly at this thought.

"I wait patiently everyday for you to realize that, but you only see what you want to see and maybe I am tired of waiting. For someone so smart you can really be dumb sometimes. Why do I wait for you at the oddest hours of the day to pick you up from the office? Doesnt it ever cross your mind why I do a lot of things for you? Dont you ever wonder why our families always ask why arent we together as a couple even if we tell them that we're just the best of friends? Maybe its because they see it in my eyes. I guess you think I have loved other women. I guess I did too... but no one ever really sufficed. Its just you. I love you everyday, I ---"

The silence in the car made him sit up and look at her. Her brown eyes huge with shock. Tinges of anger and pain chased one after the other on her pale face. He winced at that look.

"Please take me home..." she says softly then hugged her bag closer to herself.

He tried to say something but his mind went blank, so he just started the car and drove her home. An awkward air filled the silence on the drive back to her place. They were only a block away from her place when he heard her say "Im sorry I hurt you, but I cant love you back the way you expect me to."

He didnt respond to that whispered statement. As he drove he felt like it was the longest block that he had to drive. They then arrived at her place. He parked the car and then turned off the engine.

"So you cant love me, but you loved that freakin gay guy and even ---" he shouted at her but stopped when he saw the color draining from her face. Her normally pale face turned white as a sheet. "Thanks for bringing me home." she says and then steps out of the car.

The soft thud of the door against the frame felt like a punch to the solar plexus. He couldnt breathe. He didnt know how long he stayed like that, until he felt his mobile phone vibrate. He took it out of his pocket and saw that she sent him a message.

"Im sorry, but I dont think we can be friends anymore."

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Scenes from a Memory

The humid night air brushed her cheeks while she was slowly walking back to her office. Her slow steps barely made a sound on the concrete pathway. She was lost in thought. As she looked up, the lights from the buildings brought back a fond memory from her Singapore vacation.

***

‘That was a good book,’ she thought as she closed the book that she just finished reading; it was “Immortality” by Milan Kundera. As usual, after reading a Kundera masterpiece, it made her think about how and where her life was headed. About why is there a difference between the individual self and an individual’s public image; why is there a conflict between reality and appearance and why is there an all too human longing for immortality? As she pondered about this, she took a sip from her now cold hazelnut latte and gazed out onto the Marina Bay skyline.

A huge skeleton wheel was being constructed across the bay and according to her expat friends, that wheel was soon to become the Singapore Flyer; a giant ferris wheel, or to be technologically correct; a giant observation wheel, something like the London Eye. To the left; was the Esplanade Mall (which reminded her of a giant durian) the unique structure was strategically lit to showcase its one-of-a-kind architecture and to the leftmost part of her eye scope was the Merlion Park. For reasons unknown to her, the sound of the water gushing out of the merlion and the Mediterranean blue “water” under the statue soothed her.

Deep in thought, she didn’t notice that her mobile phone was vibrating; it was only when she put down her mug that she noticed that someone tried to reach her. She checked her mobile and saw that it was Chris; a classmate from highschool who presently worked in Singapore as an in-house events coordinator for Credit Suisse. She sent him a text message saying that she currently was in the Starbucks in front of the Fullerton Hotel.

After 10 minutes she saw Chris walking towards her. She had to stifle a giggle because every time she would see him, she would be reminded of this Asian actor – Edison Chen. Chris and the actor looked alike, just like the way Brad Pitt looks like a young Robert Redford. The difference between Edison Chen and Chris was that Chris was deeply tanned. Chris was in his usual business casual attire, but on him, it really didn’t seem casual. Draped on his tall, tanned and almost lanky frame was a black long sleeved polo shirt (which he accessorized with a piano key designed skinny tie) a handsome black belt with a gorgeous silver buckle, black slacks and white suede Gucci loafers.

They had dinner at Saint Julien; a French restaurant whose mission was to recreate the ‘bourgeois’ cuisine reminiscent of Paris several decades ago. They reminisced about how horrible their highschool life was and laughed at the times where they were sent to the principal’s office for their shenanigans. In the middle of dinner her phone started vibrating and she saw that it was her friend Huck. When she answered, he was asking where she was and if she was interested to have dinner with him since he just got out of the office. She told him that she was at home and already ate dinner, but maybe they could have dinner over the weekend or have coffee.

When dinner was over, she and Chris walked off the sumptuous dinner that they had. They walked hand in hand while talking. He was laughing at her because she nearly tripped a couple of times because she was staring at the buildings instead of looking at where she was walking. The tall buildings, bright lights and the people bustling about even late at night reminded her of home. In their mindless wandering, they ended up on Orchard Road and suddenly she found herself looking at Huck who was reading in one of the coffee shops that dotted the street. She rolled her eyes consternation; thought ‘jeez this country is really small,’ then sent a quick prayer to God asking for him not to notice her and Chris. Happily someone up there did listen and they got past without him noticing.

As they walked home, the smell of rain permeated the air and thunder started to rumble from above, it was a good thing that they were only a few blocks away from her condo. They were already at the park near her condo complex when the rain started to pour. They couldn’t run for it because Chris didn’t want to get his laptop wet; which incidentally was in a Hermes piano man bag, so they decided to wait it out. It was a good thing that the park had a covered walkway with benches so they had a place to park their butts.

An hour had passed and the rain still hadn’t let up. She got bored and fished around her bag to grab a cigarette. She stood from the bench and walked a few steps downwind from Chris; he hated the smell of cigarettes. After she lit up Chris said loudly: “Why don’t you quit smoking? Don’t make me go there and put that out.” She arched an eyebrow at him and took a long drag. As she exhaled, he stood up from the bench and started to approach her. She took a one step back for every step that he took towards her, next thing she knows they were running around the park laughing their hearts out. When they got back to the bench where they left their things, she saw that she was still holding a soggy cigarette butt in her right hand; which started another round of laughter.

A cold breeze started to blow which made them shudder in their wet clothes. She told him that she can run up to her condo and grab some umbrellas so that their things wouldn’t get wet. He agreed to this while grimacing and looking at his soggy socks. Of course he was in socks; you wouldn’t want to ruin a pair of Gucci shoes… not even for a childhood friend. Hahahahaha~

They got back to the condo without any other crazy incidents, dried themselves and plopped down on the couch to channel surf.

***

She entered the building where her office was located, a smile lurking at the corners of her lips as she reminisced about the rest of that memory.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Nothing New

I can hear you staring.

He then opened his eyes and gave her his trademark bedimpled parenthesis grin.

She laughed.

“Why are you staring?” he asks.

“Nothing. I was just thinking.” She says.

“Well don’t think so loud, you’re disturbing my sleep.” He says while pulling up the covers that were down to his waist then closes his eyes once again.

She then gets up from bed and goes out of the room to her pint sized kitchen to grab some coffee. While in the kitchen, her mobile phone started to vibrate; indicating that she had an incoming call. She took a look at the screen and saw to her utter surprise and slight tinge of anger, it was Finn.

She ended the call as soon as she could and then went back to her room and took a cigarette from her bag. She glanced over to the bed and saw that he was still asleep. This brought a smile to her face. He always slept in during the weekends and tried to sleep in during the weekdays. He believed that mornings were meant to be greeted with eyes tight shut. That thought accompanied her as she went back to the kitchen.

She turned on the exhaust fan just above her kitchen sink and lit up her cigarette. She rarely smoked at home, but today was an exception. The call from Finn angered her. Taking a deep drag from her cigarette she began to replay the conversation in her head. It really irritated her that Finn had the gall to call her and act as if nothing happened; as if they never had that falling out. She was pondering deeply upon those preposterous thoughts that she didn’t hear him walk over and jumped a foot high when he grabbed the coffee filled mug from her hand.

He was pleasantly rumpled from bed and giving her a grumpy grin. “Why are you muttering here by the sink? It’s too early for that.” He says after taking a huge gulp of the slowly warming coffee.

“Nothing.” She says while again taking a deep drag from her cigarette and blowing the smoke out directly to his face.

He waved his hand in front of his face and stuck a tongue out at her. “That nothing seems to be making you grumpy. If you don’t feel like talking about it, no skin off my nose. Am heading back to bed.”

She still kept silent.

“By the way, lets pass by Auntie Mia’s later. I promised that I would pass by when I had the time.” He says over his shoulder while walking back to the room.

“I cant join you. I have a meeting later in Makati.” She says.

“Lets visit when you finish. Aunt Mia misses you too.”

She was about to respond when he shut the door to the room.

She finished her cigarette and put it out on the sink, then went to do the millions of mundane chores that she had to do during the weekends.

It was two in the afternoon when she was able to finish her chores. She had done her laundry, mopped the floors, cooked lunch, vacuumed the carpet, and changed the curtains and dinning table’s cover. Vacuuming the carpet lifted up her spirits just a little because she knew that the noise annoyed him.

When she went back to her room, she saw that he was still sleeping and snoring soundly. So she tiptoed on the carpeted floor and stood beside him; bent down and pinched his nose shut. His mouth opened and that’s where he started breathing. She covered his mouth with her other hand on the hopes of waking him up. She had to laugh out loud because when she covered his mouth it seemed like his ears started squeaking. He was still asleep after she laughed her heart out, so she shook him awake and told him to eat lunch so that they could get a move on.

After her meeting in Makati, (which really ticked her off just a bit. Imagine going to the office on a weekend AND her day off) they headed to ParaƱaque to visit Japeth’s Aunt Mia.

It was Aunt Mia who opened the door. Upon seeing her and Jap, she gave him a tigh warm hug and then turned to her. His Aunt placed her long fingered hands on her shoulders, drew her in and hugged her too. “Now everything is alright.” His aunt said softly.

His aunt led them into the dining room. Her soft soled shoes padded quietly on the marble tile covered floor, while Jap’s and her sneakers squeaked loudly on the floor.

As the usual with relatives, his aunt asked if why they weren’t married yet, with the usual spiel of ‘you both aren’t getting any younger, you’re both financially viable, you’re not bad looking.. blah blah blah…’ They both just shook their head and grinned. Aunt Mia never could understand that they were just bestfriends.

On their way home, he asked her again…

“Why aren’t you my girlfriend anyway?”

“I’m not your girlfriend because its pretty gross to think that we’ve been friends since we were kids and it seems very incestuous if we did end up in a relationship together.”

“But we have chemistry…”

“I don’t care if we have chemistry or algebra or biology - ” she wasn’t able to complete her statement because she was laughing pretty hard.

He stuck his tongue out at her and gave her a funny face.

She was still giggling when she said “You always ask me that question whenever we meet your relatives… mine too…”

“Because I keep on wondering maybe we are for each other,” he says a little quietly.

“Look,” she says, “lets just make a deal, if by 40 and we’re still single or otherwise unattached, then that’s the time we think things over.”

She saw his beautiful brown eyes crinkle at the corners and get that mischievous glint.

“But I want to have kids!” he says with a laugh lurking in his voice.

“We can always adopt.”

“You know what, nevermind this redundant conversation. Lets just go get a drink. You’ve been sober since June.” He says while chuckling. “You’re just too logical for my taste.”

She smiles widely and says, “Now that’s a good idea”

Thursday, September 04, 2008

back in business

its been awhile since i got back online. been pretty busy with work and other stuff in my life. anyway... i'll be back to blogging sometime this week. i have a lot of things to share... hehehehe

all i can say right now is im just glad to be back~

 
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