Marching to the beat of My own drum...

Touched by an Angel
(A series of Haikus)

A special individual
Came into my world
He’s an angel come to life

Kindness and care he showed me
A difference he made
My life he changed; now renewed.

He is an angel to me
Mortal entity
A best friend he came to be

Wished he saw himself through me
Through my eyes, perceived…
The beauty of his presence

His existent, tantamount
A blessing from God
He is and will always be.

Thank you so much my dear friend
For listening, caring
My deepest thanks I owe you.

oOo

I really have no idea why I intimidate people. Is it because of my size? Is it because I tend to frown a lot? I seriously don’t know.

My mom told me that I have this peculiar attitude of being great at starting things but I am very poor at ending them. I asked my best friend about this and he said that most people are really like this. I also noticed this attitude and when I tried to evaluate myself, the only thing that came to mind is that its because of novelty.

I asked my bessy this question once… “Do you think one of these days we wouldn’t be friends anymore?” and this was his answer… “Our friendship is different. Only you can stop it but I won’t allow it for just any stupid reason. Your reason should be valid and understandable.” So I SMSed him back and said “Yeah, I would be pretty sad if one of these days I would just wake up and not want to have you as a friend.” Well he didn’t reply anymore so I guess what I said was moot.

I believe I am like this when it comes to relationships. Either with family or friends. I know for myself that when I love doing something, I tend to give way more than 100% for it, but for some weird reason, when I don’t feel like doing/maintaining the said thing/relationship… I just stop… just stop.

Its like walking down the street and suddenly stopping in the middle of the street. Maybe that’s the reason why my mom says that I’m a good starter but I’m a bad finisher.

To be more poetic.. *teehee* lets put it in this way… I believe I am like a comet/falling star… beautiful while it lasts but when it ends, you would rarely see it again.

I also think its because I’m not a people pleaser. When people try to put me in a box or try to start dictating the how I should go on with my life, I have the overwhelming urge to scream at them for no apparent reason and then just mosey on with my life.

I would like to think that I was indeed marching to the beat of my own drum. Either that or I just have a problem with authority.

I am actually confused… (maybe its because I’m bi-polar) I cannot live my life without talking to anybody or sharing at least a part of me with them. But I cannot bear spending too much time with them. I need my ALONE time.

This is the reason why more often than not, when you first see me, I would always have earphones stuffed into each ear or I’d be seen lugging around a book reading while walking, eating or even while in class *teehee*. I tend to shut out the world.

Its also my mantra you know… “only dead fish go with the flow”

So sue me.