Lifted

Due to my very very LIGHT work load, i have done nothing but read other people's blog. Yesterday, i was able to find the blog of one of my favorite writer/cartoonist... Scott Adams... here are some of his posts that i found absolutely HILARIOUS... im sharing this to you guys... ^_^

oh before you read on, i just want to post about me first...

anyway, a funny thing happened yesterday on my way home. i didnt know that the jeep that i was riding also moonlighted as a fumigation truck.. hahahaha...

we were stuck in traffic at Quezon Avenue (duh.. as if nawala yung traffic dun) when the jeepney driver started to rev his engine up. the jeep's engine being a relic from the past it started spewing out thick black smoke and since we (the jeeps location) was downwind, the exhaust fume that the jeep's tailpipe was producing went into the jeep.

like mosquitoes, some of the passengers of the jeep started to convulse and pass out. (ok so i exaggerate! hehehehe...) but it seemed like it was like that coz everyone was coughing in the jeep... including me. and i SMOKE... :lol:

when i got home my mum and uncle gus were there... so basically i wasnt able to catch enough zzz's... im a little groggy now.

so there...

btw, here are Scott Adam's posts...

oOo

Olympic Swearing

I realize I’m supposed to be watching the Olympics and thinking about the wonderful achievements of those hard-working athletes. I should be enjoying their glorious victories. But I’m not. Apparently I am defective.

All I see are the losers – because there are so many – who spent their entire lives preparing for this moment, only to fall on their asses in front of a billion people. I think if I spent my entire life preparing for the Olympics, at the expense of developing any marketable job skills, and then because of a shoelace failure I took a digger on live TV and came in last, no curse words would be sufficient. “Dang it” doesn’t seem to cover that situation. Nor does geez, shoot, crud, or h-e-double-toothpicks.

That’s why I think cursing should be an Olympic sport. We need world-class swear words that are up to the challenge of world-class defeat. We need entirely new swear words that have never before been uttered. I suggest phujackshiksukitalltohell. It would be reserved exclusively for Olympic losers. And it would sound nasty with almost every accent except Norwegian. (If you don’t believe me, try describing any tragic event with a Norwegian accent and see if it doesn’t make you laugh.)

oOo

Silent H

If you want to see a lot of people go nuts, try moving the silent h in the word Gandhi when you post in your blog. I’ve done it twice now by spelling Gandhi as Ghandi.

So while I was literally trying to end all war and terrorism on Earth, dozens of readers went nuts because I put a silent h in the wrong place. I deleted most of those comments but you know who you are.

Apparently many of you are not aware of the rule of the silent h. A silent h can be put anywhere you want, precisely because it is silent. So for example, it is equally proper to spell it Gandih, Gahndi, hGandi and even Gandhhhhhhhi.

The silent h is very flexible. When I’m talking, I’ll toss in a silent h every third syllable, and no one seems to mind. I’m not trying to show off by doing it. I just like the way it doesn’t sound. Little known fact: The original name for the stealth bomber was Hhhhhhh, where every h but the fourth one is silent.

Perhaps you haven’t heard the story of how h came to be silent. In Viking days, not only was the h totally noisy, but the Norsemen used them in practically every word. This caused a lot of confusion. The most common phrase in Viking became “Whhaht? I cahn’t hunhderstand! Get the h out!”

But it all came to a head one day when Eric the Artistic carved a wooden chair out of a tree stump and was showing it off to friends. That’s when Allen the Insensitive said, “Nice Chairh, hEric. I thinkh I’ll shit on it.”

Well, the next thing you know, swords are drawn and limbs are flying. And that was the day that the Vikings decided to stop talking in English and go discover the United States, which they called America.

oOo

There have been a lot of funny comments to my posts. My favorite so far is from Guy, in response to my question of whether Santa or Jesus would win in a fight:

"And as for Santa and Jesus, the answer is Jesus. Because he can walk on water he could drag Santa to the middle of a lake and hold him under while he stayed pleasantly dry. Now if you were to include the nine reindeer and twelve apostles then the fight might get more interesting."

oOo

Kindly support this program... Thanks!