A day's correspondence...

Dear Carlo,

You liked me because I was kind, gentle, thoughtful and loving. You liked me because I always had a ready smile on my face, a sweet gesture for everyone, an ear to listen to your ramblings and thoughts. I was liked by many, scorned by some.

Like moth to a flame, you were attracted to me because you saw the sadness I try so much to hide. You felt proud that you knew something about me that no one else knew. A weakness, if I may call it that.

But you failed to see that beneath the pain, I am hiding something much more sinister. Something that could consume me, if I let it.

And I saw your capacity for kindness, your sensitivity to other people’s pain. I saw in you your capability to love wholeheartedly.

And you did. You fell in love with me. You offered yourself to me, your whole life, and your soul. I never asked for it.

You didn’t understand the source of the sadness and pain you saw in my eyes. You thought you knew, but in that, you were wrong. You saw everything good in me. The love and affection I could give, but you failed to realize that I am cold, cruel and ruthless.

My coldness feeds on the warmth of your love. Taking in me every drop you could give. All the love you have to offer. And more. Until you have nothing left. Until you see only ashes in that place that once contained your heart. Until you are unable to love again without the thought of being betrayed enters your mind. Until your life is ruined, your relationships destroyed.

Now you see not just the pain I’ve endured and the love I could give, you also see the cruelty in my heart.

Now that I’ve shown you the best and the worst in me, would you still dare to love me? Could you still accept me? Are you still willing to offer yourself to me?

I dare you.

oOo

his reply:

I like you because you are cheerful, intelligent and sweet in some ways. Your smile has often kept me without words to say. I could spend the whole time looking at you do your expressions and still wouldn't get bored. I wouldn't mind doing nothing as long as I'm with you.

I am attracted to you not because I see a damsel in despair, that I may exploit your weaknesses and the things I know about you. Like fish in water, I am comfortable when I'm with you.

You let me see a portion of your character, the other part you prefer to be a mystery. You are sweet and in some ways insensitive. Yet I saw in you the capability to love.

I did fall in love with you not because you asked for it but it was a choice my heart made.

I need not understand the sadness and pain you have inside. I rather give you love and affection, carry you through those moments of agony and despair. Your coldness and cruelty have succeded in shutting me out of your heart, your ruthlessness pushed me away when I came close.

My love I gave to warm the coldness in your heart. Giving you everything through patience and understanding. Everything my heart can offer including my soul. That I know nothing is left in me after this and I shall forever wander in darkness.

Now you see not only my devotion and sincerity, but also the pain I endured because of your cruelty.

would you love the kind of person I am?

oOo

a follow-up on his 1st email...

True, I liked the person you showed the world, but when I found the person you were trying to hide, that was when I first loved you.

No, I was not a moth, unwilling victim to a flame. Nor did I fancy myself the knight, off to rescue the fair lady in the tower. It was not your vulnerability that led me to you, it was the strength I saw, that made me come to you. Not the tears behind the smile, but the smile behind those tears.

I know you never asked for it, but offer I nonetheless did. You do not always need to ask for the things you need, sometimes its offered freely.

I read in a book somewhere, ‘what evil good can do’. And I have not only read it, I lived it, all these times I was with you. But then, I did not only love the good, but all the bad times too.

How long before you realize, that the heart is a lot more resilient. Burn it, freeze it, drain it dry. But still it will emerge. It will be scarred and wounded, yes, but, no it shall not die. Turn the volume down and listen, for the steady beat you’ll hear, is my heart emerging once again, offering the promise to love you.

Yes I dare. Yes, I do. And yes, I am.

Now I dare YOU… Let me.

oOo

how can you not fall for that huh?