Misery Loves Company

Most of my friends have perfect timing. Take note... I said MOST.

Japeth does not. He has comic timing or lets say comedy of errors timing.

*snicker*

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Japeth for that. He'd always cheer me up whenever I'd be in the doldrums of despair and vice versa. This is one of those times. People say its synchronicity… I say its timing.

One time, when my boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up, Japeth popped up at my doorstep and said “I sense a disturbance in the force.” He stayed in my apartment for a month (or two). Bitching at me. Nagging me. Harangue-ing me so I'd get up in the morning and go to work and not just lay in my bed wishing for the earth to open up and swallow me whole. I never told anyone that my ex and I broke up. Japeth was just there.

The other time, I was channeling Bridget Jones… he picked me up from work and hung out with me. He would always say that he'd understand if any moment I'd feel like bursting into a Chaka Khan song and then drown myself in vodka and ciggies and I should be assured that he will not let me be eaten by an Alsatian.

Today upon arriving home (I went out and had coffee with my friend Andy), I saw a familiar figure perched on my washing machine... smoking. (I was feeling a little down in the mouth because… hahahaha… see prior blog post.)

Japeth.

I shouted at him...

"Hoy punyeta! Put that out! My clothes will smell like yosi!"

I did my laundry last night and my clothes might get imbued with the odd stench that only cigarette smoke has. Japeth threw his cigarette butt into the drain. When I saw his face, his eyes were swollen and his clothes looked as if they were slept in for days.

As soon as we entered my apartment, Japeth started blubbering. So I hugged him tight and cried with him. When the waterworks were over, I asked him what was wrong.

"Maia left me for Berks. She's in Singapore right now. I don’t know what to do... She called me up yesterday to tell me that she was breaking up with me. She said I didn't’t make her happy anymore. I thought everything was ok. We rarely fought. I thought we were doing ok. “These words were delivered in a garbled sobbing rush that I almost had a hard time deciphering what he was saying.

I was speechless.

I didn't’t have the words to comfort him because I KNEW that this would happen.

Berks and I met up when I was in Singapore. When we met up at Clarke Quay I was surprised that he was there with Maia. They were very sweet to each other but I didn't’t think much of it since (from what I knew THEN) Maia and Japeth were a couple.

While hugging Japeth, I could see that he looked very lost. So I walked him over to my room and sat him on my bed. I laid him down on the bed and took his shoes off so that he’d be comfortable. I turned on the a/c and tucked him in. Japeth curled up like a baby under the covers and proceeded to cry again. Not those loud sobs, but those silent heart rending tears that just keep on falling no matter how hard you try to stop them from falling. He kept repeating the words “I thought we were ok…” like a mantra…

Being the empath that I am, I started to feel tears falling down my face as well. I knew what he was feeling. I’ve been there. I took my shoes off and climbed into bed and just hugged him. Japeth hugged back. (He almost squashed the living daylights out of me. Japeth is 5’11 and 210 pounds) we just lay there and cried.

After the crying jag. I went to the kitchen and cooked dinner. I made Sushi and some California Maki. I brought it back to my room with 2 bottles of Red Horse. I woke him up and we had dinner. I basically had to force feed (and brow beat and nag) him the dinner that I cooked. He didn't’t want to eat! (Sayang ang effort ko no!) I also made him chug down the beer that I brought so that he’d calm down or something.

After eating dinner, he lay back down and just stared at the ceiling. I knew that he needed time to “mourn” so I just let him be. I watched television, played my XBOX, talked to him about MY dilemma (just to distract him from his own problem), drove to 7-11 Morayta and bought Vodka and five packs of ciggies, went home and proceeded to make myself and Japeth inebriated.

Then something stupid happened. We kissed. It wasn't’t just your average kissing… it was the I-want-to-keep-on-kissing-you-till-the-stars-explode-and-the-sky-turns-black kind of kiss. Then my mobile phone started to ring.

The shrill sound of my ringtone jolted us back from our minor lapse in sanity and we sheepishly jumped apart. I looked at my mobile phone wondering who in their right mind would call me up at midnight?

Of course…

It had to be Huck.

I. Shit. You. Not.

While his number was flashing on the caller ID, I had to shake my head and laugh at the absurdity of the situation. We had a quick conversation… The usual stuff we talk about when he calls. After the call I stared at my phone for a few minutes. Then I got back to Japeth.

Misery loves company really. I told Japeth that we shouldn't’t be doing what we were doing. I already wrecked one friendship yesterday; I didn't’t plan to wreck another one. Japeth apologized too and then we started laughing. I don’t know if it was alcohol induced but we just lay there in bed laughing till tears started to stream from our eyes and diaphragms started hurting.

As we lay in bed, Japeth started to pour his heart out. He told me everything that happened with him and Maia and what made him think that everything was ok between them. We rationalized. We justified. We tried to understand. At the end of it all, we basically had the realization that we never have control on how people feel about us, we maybe head over heels for them but they’d have no feelings for us whatsoever. Like Japeth said, its like: one night you’d be feeling all sexy and horny and sooo ready for a night of mind blowing sex but your partner would be in bed suffering from a head cold.

Sad but true. Shit happens.

So we systematically downed the vodka that I bought, finished all the bottles of alcohol that were in my fridge and passed out drunk.

Its 6am and I am incredibly hung over. I have a job interview at 9am and I am so praying to God that I get through my interview in one non-upchucking piece.

Misery loves company.

I am misery.